Being a principal is a difficult thing.
I wouldn’t know, I’ve only been an assistant to the principal.
But, I happened to be an assistant to the greatest principal I’ve ever met.
I met Brandi Self right after I started working with Knox County. She came into my 4th-grade classroom with Cheryl Sherridan to talk through the Arts 360 program.
Right away we clicked.
I would continue to see her at arts conferences and whenever I visited my father, Roy Miller, at Mooreland Heights.
Later in my career, I had the privilege of being her assistant principal for three years.
Those were three of the hardest years, but also the most rewarding.
With her, I saw a picture of what a great leader could be. Someone who showed kindness, caring, and most of all humility.
Apart from my responsibilities of popping popcorn, restraining students, and wearing costumes- I found another important role. As an admin team, there was a lot of heaviness that lived with us. My most important role with Brandi was making her laugh. She not only let me be my complete, weird self, but she also encouraged it.
What I will remember about those three years with her is how much we laughed.
There was always some inside joke, karaoke song, or prank.
I miss that.
When Brandi passed away, the pastor leading the service, Aaron, had sent out a request for stories about Brandi.
I knew the one I need to send.
This is the email I sent to him:
Aaron,
First, I want to just say thank you and your family for your support for Brandi’s family and Mooreland Heights during this time.
I couldn’t think of a better person to lead her celebration.
A friend had passed along your message with questions to share. I’m sure you have a lot of things being shared with you, I just had something for your last question:
Is there a story about Brandi that is special to you or that illustrates well the kind of person she was?
One year ago, in the fall, an organization in Nashville called Crockett Representatives sent an award to Brandi. They are a state-funded organization that “find and celebrate those who give their all to Tennessee”.
I later found out that she was nominated for this award because a past employee of Mooreland Heights, Amber Sawyer, had collected several nice words from parents and staff to send in.
Because she was such a humble human being, Brandi never displayed the award or shared the letter with anyone. Not even with me.
I only knew about the award because after they learned she had an Assistant Principal, they graciously (or out of pity) sent an award to me with a copy of the letter they had sent her.
These were my favorite parts of the letter because I think they sum up who Brandi was:
-–
Before I share the end of the email, I need to back up a little bit.
There was a reason that Brandi never shared that award or letter with anyone.
She knew that it wasn’t real.
In the late winter of 2020, to both celebrate Brandi and make her laugh, I went online and bought the award for her.
The first step was to find the weirdest picture that they would engrave onto a plaque.
Easy.
It was a coonskin cap.
Next, I had to think of a name for the award.
In keeping with the theme of the coonskin cap, I choose a fake organization name: Crockett Representatives.
This name provided me with an additional joke.
I had them engrave into the plaque: Crockett Representatives Amazing Principal Award.
Using the first letters of the award, it spells- the CRAP Award.
Perfect.
I selfishly had one made for me as well, to remember this moment.
I had originally had this grand plan of having one of my friends come in pretending to be the CEO of Crockett Representatives. Unfortunately, this was right before COVID had all schools shut down. So there wasn’t a good time to have this award presented to her.
I ended up taking a new job with the virtual school that summer.
As the school year started up in the fall, I ended up sending the awards through school mail. I included a fake letter that explained why she got the award.
This letter was completely different then what I shared with the pastor, Aaron.
Here are some parts of the letter shared with Brandi:
At Crockett Representatives, we strive to recognize those members of our state who are giving their all for Tennessee. I believe your local football team uses this motto. They sometimes arbitrarily slap the ceiling where “Today I will give my all for Tennessee” is hung.
Our selection process is very complicated. It deals with people but also computers.
Basically your administrative team at Mooreland Heights was brought to our attention through a write-in campaign. We offered $10 gift cards for Shell gas stations if Tennessee residents would write in about local leaders in their communities. Gift cards for gas stations are interesting because the amount of product you get for the gift card is dependent on the price of gas at the time of use.
We had three separate entries for you at Mooreland Heights. It was the most for any leader in the East Tennessee region. When we found your website we saw that you also had an assistant principal. We sent him an award too so he didn’t feel left out. It’s really up to you to determine if he deserves it or not. We don’t care either way.
I’m inserting some selections from your entries below. This is the complicated part with computers.
ENTRY 39:
“… I always felt welcome to come in and talk to her anytime I needed help…”
ENTRY 88:
“… She would always say “when you’re here, you’re family”. I also heard this on an Olive Garden commercial…”
ENTRY 102:
“… my daughter always came home with popcorn kernels in her teeth and blue snow cone flavoring around her lips…”
Brandi knew me well. I immediately got a call from her laughing.
Brandi was always celebrating others. She made sure that others felt valued. I just wanted a physical representation for her to feel celebrated… even if it was with a CRAP award.
So when Aaron asked for stories to share at Brandi’s funeral, I saw this as a challenge.
How could I get this pastor to share a completely made-up story at a funeral?
As with most of my jokes and lies, I mixed in some truth.
This was my last joke to Brandi.
I had a pastor, at her funeral, read off a completely fake story about her getting a fake award. A crap award.
I know Brandi would have loved it.
But in this joke was a lot of truth.
The “quotes from parents and staff” were really just from me.
This is how I will always remember Brandi Self.
In the morning, the Mooreland Heights’ staff are greeted to a song, often off-key and from a different decade, being belted from her room. Kenzie, her daughter, sitting across from her- half giggling and half embarrassed.
On the morning announcements, the students are reminded that they are loved and are reminded who they are: Mooreland Heights Rockets.
In the afternoons, a line forms outside her door- full of students, parents, and staff.
There are always problems to fix (99% of the time, she has a solution), bad news to grieve (and she always has words to encourage), or accomplishments to celebrate (often with confetti, silly string, or another off-key song).
Brandi is present for all these things. She will cry with you, celebrate with you, and most of all listen.
She makes everyone around her feel seen, heard, and loved.
Most of all she pushes people to be their best selves, all in service of the children and community around her.
